Tragic,Ticklish and Totally Timothean!

Totally Tim – Boring Sensitive dribble.

Sorry for missing out on the Blog entries for the past couple of days. I was out partying and I guess I thought over the weekend everyone would be too busy having a life that no one would bother reading this dribble anyway. I have to say after looking at the hit counter below, I’m pleasantly surprised. I had a good past couple of days despite the frigging frigid cold weather and learnt first hand how a polar bear feels when I jumped into bed, dived under the blanket at 12 pm Monday and woke up 30 hours later…only cos my stomach told me it needed filling.

I had a lot of personal bonding with a few people since my last blog entry and from their sharing, I received 2 things. Inspiration, and a personal challenge to be a better friend to them. One of my close friends took a brave step in confronting many of his personal demons for the first time and confided to me about his experiences in the game of love and how he was left badly burnt. This friend of mine has long gained the reputation of a ‘playa’. Granted, he is. But it was sad how he got there. I think too many times in life, we look at people around us, and we take them at face value. If we like what we see, we want more. If we don’t, then that’s all we’ll ever see in them.

You can’t rush someone into revealing their lives to you either. No one likes to feel weak and vulnerable. Especially those who have gotten used to the way others perceive them. After all it does take a pretty brave person to admit weakness and fear. Even more so with guys who are not usually all that sensitive and emotional. It’s such a common situation to find couples quarreling of the issue of support. Women want men to be better listeners instead of problem fixers. Men don’t see the point in sharing problems if you don’t want solutions. Therefore, many guys don’t like talking about their problems and feelings, when they can’t imagine fixing them.

That’s not always such a bad thing. I mean of course they tend to bottle everything up and become a potential a- bomb. But they also don’t fall into the ‘comfortable dwelling and wallowing trap’. Sometimes the more you talk about your problems, the more familiar you become with feeling miserable and sorry for yourself. I’ve fallen down that hole many times to the extent where I’ve had my close friends tell me I’m way too trusting in opening up to anyone and everyone. I am. I don’t know how big a problem that is. I also don’t know what I can do about it. It’s true there are people out there who will use that to take advantage of you. But life is miserable enough without having to doubt everyone around you. Maybe that’s why I like listening to other people share their problems with me. Helping them with theirs makes me forget about mine.

Another friend of mine wants to quit smoking. Wow. Brave step. Here’s a demon that I’ve spent many years fighting. I know how hard it is. I know how the moment you stop buying cigarettes you start noticing everyone smoking around you. Everything will start to remind you of smoking. Switch on the television. Someone’s bound to be puffing away at a cigarette. Open a magazine. You’ll find an ad or a picture of someone smoking, no matter how miniscule it is. Even the ‘no smoking’ sign at the cinema will revive that urge in you. Make no mistake. Cigarettes are a drug. I don’t see why it should be anymore legal than ecstasy, weed, speed, etc. And I have experienced many of those vices first hand. I guess that’s why smoking is so hard to quit. The fact that it’s legal compared to all those other drugs make us think that it’s not as harmful or as hard a habit to drop. My friend Andrew smokes more than I do and I can only imagine how much harder it might be for him to quit. Here’s where I have to be a better friend. I have to refrain from smoking around him. I cannot offer him cigarettes no matter how much he wants them. I’ve even promised to deny his pleas even at the offer of his first born child. Most of all I want to encourage and show him support. There are different types of smokers. Those that don’t even want to quit, those that want to, but aren’t brave enough to try, and those who fall a few times in the fight. I’ve heard a particular saying in life. “It’s not how many times you fall. It’s how many times you get up, that counts”. I pray to God he wins the battle. In a way, he’s fighting for all of us and it’s a victory that I will also savor.

Sorry if this blog was kinda boring. It’s 9 am and I guess the creative juices haven’t started flowing yet. Talk to you later.

Totally Tim – Typically late with his entries

posted by Timmy Tim Tim @ 7:55 AM