Tragic,Ticklish and Totally Timothean!

I am DA Velvet Revolver! COCK ME NOW!

No this is not an advertisement for the Personals in a kinky gay magazine.

The typically tragic and terrifying world is now totally terrific now that the Timothean one has reached musical nirvana. All thanks to 2 words. VELVET REVOLVER – the ultimate rock band of the year.

That’s right. After 3 days of overdosing on Guns and Roses (thanks to the music video dvd I purchased), I have reached a new high in the knowledge that my favorite band of all time is still kicking it, even without their wanky former lead singer.

Granted, I do miss the vocals which etched songs like Rocket Queen, Don’t Cry and November Rain into the deepest recesses of my memory forever.

Still, seeing as Axl Rose will probably never ever release Chinese Demorcracy – the latest LP from the ‘new’ and not so improved GNR, at least I’m comforted that Velvet Revolver will forever be more GNR than Axl’s ever will be.

After all, they do have 3 of the original members from the Use Your Illusion era including Slash, Matt Sorum and Duff McKagen. I must admit I was pretty biased believing that former Stone Temple Pilots lead Scott Weiland was gonna be a semi decent replacement for Rose. I was even more upset when I heard they chose Weiland over former Skid Row lead Sebastian Bach whom I considered as possessing a vocal quality more similar to Rose’s.

However, having heard their latest LP Contraband (approximately 50 times since I bought it about 7 hours ago), I whole heartedly give him props. Imagine ‘Plush’ combined with the loud yet clean old school metal sound that only a 80’s band like Guns and Roses can deliver.

Slash himself hasn’t lost a step, as the former number 1 rated guitarist in the world continues to pluck away with electric euphoria.

It’s still a little depressing when you look at how much the former gunners have aged. No longer are they the youthful somewhat androgynous big haired rockers who sold the entire generation of the late 80’s and early 90’s on the mantra which was SEX DRUGS AND ROCK AND ROLL. In other words they look like like they’ve spent way too long in the pool and have assumed the unmistakable image of one of our favorite fruit laxatives.

Still, it is the music which matters and like a satay seller once told me, “Rock Never Dies Brudder!!”

As you can tell, I am very very excited. It’s been way over a year since I’ve written anything close to a CD review. Plus along with the fact that I am a very lazy git, you can imagine how highly I regard VR if I’m actually doing typing all this out. Another factor is that I also bought Prince’s Musicology today and am not too thrilled about that buy. So in comparison, Contraband rocks even more.

Ok. Pic-Cher time. This is me, having just come home from the CD shop with, oh what do we have here? It’s the Velvet Revolver album.

Before listening to the CD
 

Tim: Hmmm I wonder how it sounds like. What a pretty red album cover. I wonder if these guys sound anything like the Backstreet Boys.

After listening to the CD
 

Tim: &#$%(#&@(#*@#(!!!!!! What’s coming over me? I have this sudden feeling. I have a need. I have an urge…..to grab a guitar and go look for a void deck to go play under.

Ok! Enough typing. Time to return to tearing apart my stereo, and my neighbors’ ear drums with more VELVET REVOLVER!

Typically Tim – Totally Rawking It!

posted by Timmy Tim Tim @ 1:48 AM