Tragic,Ticklish and Totally Timothean!

Totally Tim - Doctory Mockery

So the Timothean returns with a new episode in the on-going soap opera we call life. This time he’s annoyed. Yes he is. But what the heck, Tim is always annoyed about something or other isn’t he? Yeah I guess that’s true. That’s why I designed this blog with the whole purpose to rant. However I’ve since found out that nobody can kick butt better than I. Hence when I feel the need to whinge and wine, why bother going to peons and nobodies for advice when yours truly dishes out the best anyway?

So today, in the hot seat to complain about numerous notions and nutty circumstances we have (applause please) TIM!

And his doctor, council, consigliere and overall ideal advisor (louder applause) Tim!

That’s right my pretties, today Tim (that’s me) shall listen carefully and thoughtfully to yours truly and offer the right responses to me, myself and I.

Tim (patient): So Doctor Tim, I’m feeling troubled.

Tim (doctor): No shit Sherlock. Hurry up and get to it. Time’s a wasting.

Tim (patient): First of all. Why do women perpetually think that they’re the one’s constantly putting up with crap from men, when in actual fact, it is the other way around.

Tim (doctor): How old are you?

Tim (patient): 28

Tim (doctor): Then you’re a 28 year old twit. It’s taken you this long to figure out that women don’t know what they’re talking about?

Tim (patient): No. I mean I guess I just hoped I’d find someone who wasn’t like that.

Tim (doctor): I take that back. You’re not a 28 year old twit. You’re a 28 year old naïve twit! How many times have you found out women are the way they are and then gone out to find another in the belief that you’d find that special person who was different and wasn’t crazy.

Tim (patient): I dunno. Many, many times.

Tim (doctor): And how many times were you successful?

Tim (patient): None.

Tim (doctor): And do you still think you’ll find a woman who isn’t nuts?

Tim (patient): Yes.

Tim (doctor): Then you’re a multi time idiot with potential for more idiocy. I can’t help you. You just refuse to learn and no matter what I say, you’ll always be itching for more hurt. My advice if you’re still intent on continuing this search….medication. Let me write you a prescription.

And that concludes today’s session with Dr. Tim. Stay tuned for the next episode when he tries to help a patient who actually believes in true love.

~Totally Tim – Searching for his medical degree

P.S – Some parting words from Doctor Tim, “Why does the average married male die before his wife? Because he wants to. It’s called escape. Same reason why dinosaurs went extinct. They figured it was better to die millions of years before the species known as ‘woman’ drove them insane. Guys, do yourself a favour and pray for an ice age real soon.”

posted by Timmy Tim Tim @ 3:12 AM