Tragic,Ticklish and Totally Timothean!

Gong Xi Fa Cai? What Fa Cai? You see any Fa Cai?

So it’s the Eve of Chinese New Year and the Tragic One is not looking forward to the next couple of days. Now many optimistic people (usually the money grubby sort) will pause and exclaim “But why? Tis the season to be rolling in the dough from stacks of Ang Paos!”

Well my greedy little chums, it is common knowledge that the older you get, the less loot there is to be looted. Firstly, due to the never-ending Circle of Life (Did I just hear Elton John?), there are less and less older relatives to mooch off. Secondly, most people assume you’re married or should be and therefore don’t deserve any ill-gotten money – Ill in the sense that it’s theirs and I shouldn’t have it.

Bah! That takes me to my next point. OH THE PRESSHA!!! --- Desperate times call for inaccurate spelling.

In an earlier entry I raised the point that I wasn’t too fond of the idea that everyone around my age was getting married. Now with Chinese New year upon us, that’s just yet another thorn scheduled for insertion …right into my side.

“Why aren’t you married yet?!”

“When are you going to find yourself a nice sweet girl to settle down with?”

“Look at so and so…already married and what a beautiful baby they have.”

Blah blah blah!

What’s with babies anyway? I just want to step on those cute little whiney nose makers!!

*Sigh* I’m kidding. I didn’t mean that.

They’re not cute.

Still, that’s not the pressure I was referring to. Somehow until recently I’d never noticed how Singaporeans are so obsessed with their jobs and everyone else’s. In the past couple of months I’ve been to enough social gatherings such as weddings to completely want to swear off venturing out in public where the first thing people ask you is….

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“What are you doing now”

Tim: I’m having dinner / drinks / a conversation with you / a bad feeling you’re referring to a job.

“Yes what job are you doing? Where are you working?”

Tim: I’m not. I’m slacking off and I’m enjoying it so stop hassling me you jealous old prune!”

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The sad thing about it is that they’re not so old. Younger and younger people are beginning to hint that I should get off my ass and do something with my life.

Why? Because you’re stuck in a job and have to wake up at some ungodly hour each day to join the rat race just so you can score a bigger piece of cheese?

I do that too. Except all I do if I want to score a bigger piece is to reach out and open my refrigerator door.

It’s just kind of depressing that these days, having a job determine your value as a person, has become so ingrained into the minds of society. What’s even more depressing is that it might be getting ingrained into mine if I’m letting these peons affect me.

In fact I just thought of something. I’m going to come up with a list of things to say to people this week every time someone bugs me about what I’m doing for a living,

----

Kaypoh person 1: What are you doing these days?

Me: Nothing. Why else would I be here visiting yo old mouldy ass to get money?

Kaypoh person 2: What are you working on now?

Me: I’m working on how to get more money without answering anymore stupid questions”

Kaypoh person 3: So have you decided what you want to be yet?

Me: Yes. I’ve decided I want to be ….. on my way to the next house to collect money, so take these miserable oranges, hand over the red packets and I’ll see you next year.

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Finally I’ve also recently been told that the year of the Chicken, isn’t particularly favorable for those of us born in the year of the Snake.

Awesome. Yet another piece of beautiful news.

“Happy Chinese New year to you, and you, and you, and you, and yo….oh no not you. Your new year’s going to suck. But hey have some Bah Gua anyway.”

The story of my life.

But don’t go thinking Cocks and Snakes don’t get along. *shudder* I’ve also been told that as a Snake, my ideal partner for marriage is someone born in the year of the Chicken. Yet another reason to stay single.

Still it’s a great excuse to give if I ever want to settle down with someone 20 years younger *grin*

Alright, before I sign off and embark on a beautiful dream adventure filled with Buah Keluak, Babi Pangang, He Pio Soup and other Peranakan dishes to look forward to at tonight’s reunion dinner, let me wish all Happy Chinese New Year and urge you remember what’s truly important.

Chinese New Year isn’t about the sound of money falling into your pockets………

…..Because we all know REAL money doesn’t make a sound. It slips in softly and doesn’t jingle. Heheheh. Oh yeah, family and friends too yadahyadah.

~Totally Tim – Time To Turn In and Tune Out

posted by Timmy Tim Tim @ 9:11 AM